Wedded Bliss (or not)

My wife's friend is getting married tommorow. Evidently this is more important on the "keeping your marriage together" scoreboard than getting to watch UNC@GT and UT@OSU - I don't know who made these marriage rules, but it's obviously a female plot for world domination. And lastly, it brings up the question of how good a man this guy can be if he allowed his wedding to be scheduled on a Saturday during the college football season. Look, you have from April until August to get married - it's designed that way. There's great weather and no sports and there's a reason everyone else gets hitched during that time frame. Actually, maybe I should object during the service and point this out ...

So, I'm going to be reduced to watching the score updates on my Blackberry - and I've been contemplating what's the worst scenario.

1). Georgia Tech blows UNC out early

If it's 21-0 early in the first half, then I can keep the Blackberry holstered and just enjoy the wedding reception, at least in theory. Instead, I'll probably be rushing to try and find a TV to see if I can catch P.J Daniels running loose in the UNC secondary. There's nothing more enjoyable than watching your team lay down a good old fashioned beating, and I'd be missing it.

2). Close game all the way through

Obviously this would be miserable, constantly refreshing for a score update. By the end of the reception I'll be a nervous wreck (no pun intended) and randomly making strange noises in the back corner of a room as all kinds of horrific scenarios involving Reggie Ball throwing a late INT for a touchdown run themselves through my conciousness. Actually, come to think of it, this might be worse for my marriage than just skipping the wedding entirely.

3). UNC blows out GT

If it's 21-0 Tarheels in the second quarter, there's a good chance I'm going to just stop checking the score updates and drown my sorrow in the reception bar. This ALWAYS has a bad ending, especially at a wedding where you don't know a single person. I can just see my wife pointing me out to her friends, "oh yeah, that's my husband - the drunk one in the corner crying".

So really, is there a situation where this doesn't turn out to be a total mess? Oh, and is it considered rude to be checking your mobile device during the wedding, or do I have to wait until the reception starts before busting it out? Why isn't this stuff published in book form, some "Guy's guide to surviving social events while married" or something like that?